WIRECUTTERS CLASH WITH POLICE AGAIN

By: Ethan Miller

“I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD OF THE WORK DONE TODAY.”

Violent protests-turned riots broke out in NYC over the course of the weekend. Wirecutters have repeatedly insisted that Neura technology is harmful and dangerous. Police quickly put an end to the chaos.

The terrorist group RLF (Reality Liberation Front, colloquially referred to as “wirecutters”) once again took to the streets in protest of Neura’s prominence across the globe, hijacking several New York busses and setting them alight in a roadblock formation.  Banners, flags and signs were adorned with desperate, vague pleas for life to return to a time pre-VR as smoke and flame spread through city streets.

Police were quickly called in to clear the obstruction, making several arrests. Several officers were wounded in the struggle, with no reported injuries to any wirecutters. New York mayor Amanda Stucker praised the force’s handling of the situation. “I must commemorate the restraint and humility demonstrated by our people in blue. Despite the violent nature of this terrorist group, New York police exercised perfect techniques in diffusion and de-escalation. I could not be more proud of the work done today.”

The wirecutters took to spinning the incident in their own favor, ironically spreading their messages through the Neurasphere. “Police have once again acted not in the interests of the people, but in the interests of shareholders, CEOs and lobbyists. This jackbooted capitalism is nothing but a sign that we are no longer under a government of elected officials, but appointed corporate representatives.”

The RLF emerged shortly after the announcement of the second version of the Neura computing system, when the tech giant announced the Neurasphere, the VR space used and occupied by billions worldwide. Since their inception, the wirecutters have been militant in their method to slow the advances of technological development.

Cal Jessup, the unofficial face of Neura spoke on the wirecutters last year after the bloodiest clash in the movement’s history, the July 20th riot outside Toronto’s city hall, resulting in ten wirecutter deaths and one police officer’s passing. “We are at a pivotal moment in human history, we closer to one another than we ever have been before. We are more capable of empathy, collaboration, and establishing a global village. And these people are afraid. All through history there have been paranoid, frightened naysayers. When the internal combustion engine was invented, there were plenty of people terrified of the implications. And we advanced, became better. When the answering machine on analog telephones was invented, people complained about their voices being recorded without their consent. And we advanced, communicating better than ever before. When the Neurasphere was announced and released, there were more frightened objectors, frightened of the implications. And we are better now than we were fifteen years ago. We will continue to develop, innovate, and advance. To those concerned with the direction society is heading, I say simply: then don’t take part. We don’t need you. You want to remain unplugged, unconnected? So be it. Do not force the rest of the world to adhere to your unjustified superstitions.”